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There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

— Shakespeare

{ RESOURCES: Grief & Loss }

Article #1: The Stages of Grief
Full Article | by Kristin A. Gresko

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:: The Five Stages of Grief

At some point in our lives, each of us faces a significant loss that touches us deeply. The grief that follows such a loss can seem unbearable, although grief actually a process essential in healing. Grief is the emotional distress we feel after experiencing a loss.

The death of a someone we love, the loss of a limb, or even intense disappointment can cause grief. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has named five stages of grief we experience following a serious loss. Sometimes we get stuck in one of the first four stages, and life can be very painful until we move to the fifth stage of acceptance.

:: DENIAL & ISOLATION
At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, months or longer.

:: ANGER
We tend to direct anger at the person who inflicted the hurt, or at the world, for letting it happen. We may be angry for letting the event take place, even if, nothing could have stopped it.

:: BARGAINING
We may attempt to may make bargains, asking, "If I do this, mybe it will take away the loss and pain?" We believe maybe we can change things.

:: DEPRESSION
We feel numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath. We may withdraw from others, be unable to enjoy the things we used to, have trouble sleeping or sleep too much, and our eating habits may change. We can fall into a deep depression without realizing it.

:: ACCEPTANCE
This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. We simply accept the reality of the loss.

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:: GRIEF & STRESS

During grief, it is common to have many conflicting feelings. Sorrow, anger, loneliness, sadness, shame, anxiety, and guilt often accompany serious losses. Having so many strong feelings can be very stressful.

Yet denying the feelings, and failing to work through the five stages of grief, is harder on the body and mind than going through them. When people suggest "looking on the bright side," or other ways of cutting off difficult feelings, the grieving person may feel pressured to hide or deny these emotions. Then it will take longer for healing to take place.

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